Even though I worked from home yesterday, I sent Liezel off to daycare because we had the bug-guy coming to spray. We thought it best if she wasn’t here 1) when a stranger is in the backyard, and 2) while the stuff dried for two hours. I still have Trudy but she’s easy enough to pick up and walk out back to go potty.
The daycare that Liezel goes to has live streaming cameras. I check in at least once each day that she’s there. I probably shouldn’t do this because more often than not I log out feeling badly. She is usually standing stationary looking around or just walking around alone. Some of the other dogs (the minority) are playing and roughhousing. Some are sleeping, and some are doing what Liezel does.
At one point in time I thought, “If she’s off by herself, laying down or walking around, she must feel confident enough to not have to be with the pack.” Well, I mentioned this to one of the many trainers we sought the help of only to be told “No, that type of behavior is avoidance. She is avoiding the other dogs.” Keeping in mind this comment came from the guy who told us, “This dog should never be taken out of the house,” I shouldn’t put much stock into the thought. But somehow each time I check in and see her alone I wonder if she’s scared or nervous or lonely.
We have several times asked the daycare for a report on her. They always say she’s very loving (she really is!) and sometimes they will jot down a couple other dogs that “she played with today.” In the very early stages of her fear aggression I sent a long list of questions to the daycare asking particulars about her behavior. They were surprised that we were concerned about fear aggression because, “Liezel is so loving – she has never shown any signs here.”
I never really got reassurance that she has friends or that she plays with others. But they did say that she doesn’t seem nervous or scared. I think they would be honest in telling us if she wasn’t comfortable there. They don’t want a nervous dog in group projecting nervous energy to the pack.
So in my anxiety ridden brain I have circular thoughts that go like this: She’s standing/laying by herself, she’s lonely. Oh! another dog laid next to her – good, she has a friend. Oh, she got up and walked away, she must have been afraid of him/her. Oh! she’s smelling another dog, she must like him/her. Oh that one smelled her and she didn’t seem to like that. There’s a GSD – she should befriend that one. She ignored it. OH! That one jumped on her and she ran. She feels trapped! She laid down in a group, she must be comfortable with those dogs.
I wonder why she’s laying over in that corner all by herself. -Five minutes go by – geez, why is she alone for so longs – ten minutes – Oh! Liezel, are you okay?! Maybe you shouldn’t go to daycare anymore. Then the dog gets up and it’s not even her! (the cameras aren’t that great).
Ridiculous. I know. Just ridiculous.